The Fall (update)

On July 8, 2008, I had an accident. Three years ago... After tripping on the carpet and doing a 360 degree spin, I fell down our stairs. I fell from the landing 9 stairs above the floor, to the wood floor below without touching anything in between. Yeah, ouch. I broke lots of bones. All of the ribs on my left side, my left shoulder in 3 places, the left collarbone in 3 places, and my right wrist. I also hit my head extremely hard, causing the retina of one eye to bleed and requiring surgery. Slamming my head violently into the floor didn't help matters. I had several MRI's to rule out any damage to my brain. (ok I heard that)

For a while, I was really out of it, and my bg numbers were basically high all the time. The drugs I was on played havoc with my glucose levels, and I wasn't in a place to do much about it for a month or two. Ultimately, though, when something like this happens, you pretty much have two choices. Give in and stagnate, or get to work. I was very fortunate to have wonderful people around to help me, and so after many months of basic healing and therapy, I began working pretty hard to get healthy and strong again, and which is why I still tweet about working out so much, it's a part of my continued recovery, and it makes me feel good.

The process started by getting a 'vacuum seal cover' for the right-arm cast so I could get in the pool and move around with the buoyancy of the water to help me. A few months later I got on an insulin pump, and began to try my best to eat really well and work out on a regular basis. I still have a long way to go, but I feel like I am finally getting close to the place I want to be. I'm a little over 6'1". My starting weight was around 247. Weight as of today was 192, where I've been for almost two years. My current goal is somewhere around 185. I'm not too concerned with the weight though, most importantly I just want to be fit and continue to feel good. So far so good. 'Cause I feel great.

You have to keep a sense of humor about the things that sometimes happen to you, or at least I try to. In some of the pictures below, you will see me attempting to be funny. My daughters keep reminding me that even though I thought I was being pretty funny, in reality I was just on massive amounts of pain killers, and EVERYTHING seemed funny to me, but, uh, of course, not to them. They were 15 and 17 at the time. Side note: nothing has changed about that situation, minus the pain killers lol.

Here are some pictures from that period showing my progress. The pics start with me in our swimming pool a few days before the fall, a few pictures showing an "extremely stoned on painkillers" me. Look at my eyes, they're a dead give away ha ha (I don't remember taking ANY of these) Finally, there are a few post recovery.

In all of this, there's one thing I've learned... if I can do it, we all can... There is NOTHING a person with d can't do, if they want to. It's in our DNA, in all different ways. Each of us have unique gifts and unique strengths, as well as weaknesses. But as we work together, and support each other through the DOC, We Can Do It!

My 'Romantic Tendencies'

so... a friend challenged me to take a quiz to gauge my 'romantic tendencies'. So... ok, I'm game. I was pretty sure I knew what it would indicate... I thought you'd get a kick out of it, so laugh with me as I laugh at myself, and then go take the quiz and post YOUR results. #DAREyou

Oh yeah, one more thing... s l o w kisses... just sayin'

My results are below...

You're disgusting. Disgustingly romantic. Girls swoon over you if you're a guy and guys cannot tolerate you if you're a girl. You just cannot help it. Being romantic runs in your blood, clouds your mind and burns in your heart as you seek every opportunity to be romantic with your partner. Being in love is a magical experience and more so if its with you. You're best described as a Hopeless Romantic.

Go to Romantic Love Quiz to do more Quizzes!

Everyday Is An Adventure

everyday is an adventure... looking for the prize that awaits is what makes it so, not whether I actually find something. it makes no difference whether I'm 'at work' or 'at play'... with the right attitude and approach, it's all play... deadly serious play at times, but play non-the-less... what is the prize you ask? the answer might surprise you... make no mistake, I love my toys, but I value 'things' far less than I value experiences... but as far as what I consider to be the prize, it could be anything, tangible or intangible, it really doesn't matter, but high on the list are new insights, new understanding, danger, creativity, uncontrollable laughter, passion, romance, the list is as long as I have days to live... for when I experience these things I am not just existing, I am truly living... but the prize comes not from taking one of these as a grape plucked from a vine, leaving it less than it once was, but instead, upon finding the opportunity, giving the experience as a gift freely offered and shared... for in seeking the opportunity with the knowledge, skill, and confidence of a man, yet searching for it with abandonment, excitement, anticipation, and boyish wonder, I'm already wrapped up in the adventure...

I wonder what journey today holds? I'm off to find out...

dwell in possibility.......

for those who see the past and ask why...
I point to the future and say why not

for those who cry and wonder 'if'...
I dry the tears and speak of 'when'

for those who mourn the raging battle
you're not alone, I am with you
keep on fighting...
for it's in the trying that we truly do win

for gifts unused become a burden, a weight to be carried in getting from here to there, and sometimes lead to dreams simply remaining dreams. But gifts in the hands of the skilled and willing become weapons of light and shine warmth into cold empty rooms.......

It's Not The Critic Who Counts

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” - Theodore Roosevelt

To my friends, who also strive to fight the good fight everyday, whatever your fight may be, may you fight without ceasing... and know that I am with you. I encourage you, and am encouraged by you... may you never, EVER give up, even in the face of the ugly giant, even in the midst of the battle when it feels as though you have nothing left to give... NEVER EVER give up until THAT day comes... the day of your VICTORY! Ignore your critics, ignore the food police... they haven't got a clue... They know nothing of what they speak, and only show their ignorance in choosing to speak anyway... never listen to them... listen only to your heart... it alone knows... YOU alone know...
If you find your face marred by sweat and blood, be encouraged, for you are winning! There is no shame in suffering a setback, only triumph for those who fight... so fight valiantly, be the warrior you KNOW yourself to be, and know if you are reading these words, you have already won, so be encouraged! Dare GREATLY! Should you stumble and fall, call out. Call out and find the thousands upon thousands who are ready to come alongside you. Let them help you, and then pick yourself up and press on... the only thing in front of you is your destiny... a destiny bright and filled with hope and love, a destiny overflowing with the abundance of all that you can be and all that you have dreamed of! The only thing behind you are the days you have lived to the full... may your tomorrows be EVEN MORE SO! Do the deed you have been called to do.. do it with enthusiasm, with strength and confidence, and do it with the courage, conviction, poise and grace that the critic can only dream of having, yet will never come close to achieving... The critic is not a doer... the critic is merely an observer of those who do. Of those who fight. Of those who struggle and who live to fight yet again another day... of those who press on, of those who strive to climb the high mountain, of those who dig deep inside and as a result find themselves at the summit, overlooking all that is before them. The critic is merely an observer of those who DO... and WIN!
The cause is worthy of no less than all you have to give it, and you are MORE than up to the task! So give it your all! The credit belongs to you... So give it your all... everyday... and win.

WIN!

W I N ! ! !

Beautiful Day

I write a lot of things that I never post anywhere… some of them are stories, some of them are dreams, sometimes I’m writing to myself, and sometimes I have no clue who I’m writing to, I just do. Some of them are hysterical to go back to and read later, as in “WHAT was I thinking??? lol

Others hold more meaning for me…I wrote this a few days ago while in the midst of a low… If you’ve ever read any of my longer posts (most of which are currently offline), the last part of this will be familiar in tone and expression…
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I awake at #bgnow 41... and having already corrected, I dwell in the wasteland that is a low, my mind screaming at me to shove anything, everything I see into my mouth in a desperate attempt to quell the seemingly never-ending stabbing pain of weakness I feel at the very center of my being, even as I greet the beauty of the morning with my soul at once both euphoric and already exhausted... knowing I am not alone in this moment and having once again survived, but slowly waking to the realization that it will probably happen again...

(10 minutes later) d, you can have my body, and you will probably one day take my life, but you will never, ever, EVER get me to surrender my will to you.. for I have looked you in the eye and found you at your very core to be a weak, flawed, and temporary condition, unworthy of anything less than being kicked to the curb which I gladly do now...

I alone get to choose how I view this moment, how I view this day and my circumstances…. I now greet this morning with abandonment, excitement and boundless joy!!! and you? you go crawl back into the pit of hell from which you came... you are nothing to me...
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And a beautiful day it was… and no matter what the weather is right now, today is a beautiful day… hope it is for you too…

Diablo Canyon Nuclear Power Plant

Where I was working recently

click for larger image